Crochety

Do-Overs

Sat, 8 Mar 2008 15:02:59 -0800

Wow. What a difference a few months makes.

A friend recently reminded me that politics consists of "campaigns" where to the victors go the spoils. "Playing the game" means "strategy" and "winning battles." I always thought it was all about open dialog and solving our country's numerous problems. Politics, especially in the richest country on the planet, is rarely about "the people" but rather "the candidate."

Up until recently, I was convinced that Ms. Clinton was ready to do or say anything to get elected. Even pretend that she still has a relationship with her philandering hollow moral shell of a husband. I was also convinced that Mr. Obama was above such unpleasantries. Boy, was I wrong.

So now the peanut gallery is chiming in. The latest barrage involves the Speaker of the House. With her superhero ability to melt lead using only snide comments, always delivered while smiling like the Cheshire Cat, Rep. Nancy Pelosi has a special knack for pissing people off. And now today, we get this:

"My responsibility as Speaker is to make sure that I have a Democratic majority in the Congress of the United States," she said. "So while I want these candidates to operate on a proper tone so one of them will be in the White House, I have to insist upon it because I can't have their - if you want to call it bickering - have an impact on my congressional races."

Gee, I always thought that the Speaker's job was to preside over the House, not use her power and position to work towards determining its makeup. Evidently she takes her self-appointed job as Queen of Sheba pretty seriously.

For someone who makes her living bickering and making acidic comments about opponents, Pelosi sure has a lot of nerve. If Senator Obama is really about change, and not business as usual, he wouldn't give in to all of this catfighting and simply remind Pelosi that when she runs for President she can handle her campaign any way she wants. In the meantime, shut the f*** up because nobody cares.

Aha! But now Clinton wants to re-do the primaries in Florida and Michigan. Of course she does if she thinks she can get more votes out of it. First the DNC says that they will punish the states' committees by disallowing their delegates to the national convention. Now, depending on which back-room deal gets cut, these states' primaries are now "the will of the people." If the public's memory wasn't so short (and fickle) the assumption that we couldn't figure out what was really going on would be, at best, insulting.

"The rules are the rules. You really can't say, 'OK, well, we had the rules, but never mind,' " Pelosi said. "Having said that, the politics are the politics, and it's going to be up to the Democratic National Committee, the states involved and the campaigns to resolve this issue."

"As chair of the convention, I want to make sure I can moderate the matter in a fair way," she said. "But I mean, let's face it: Barack Obama wasn't even on the ballot in Michigan, so how can you say that that was an election? I think Florida has a bigger case. But in each of the cases, they are outside the rules and an accommodation is going to have to be made."

Translation: Yippee! They're going to have to bow down to me to get the nomination. I'm going to get more airtime and some gimmies. Life is good!

Eventually, somebody is going to have to win and represent the Democratic party in the national election. But with their current scorched-earth tactics, no matter who wins they'll have an uphill battle to win what 8 months ago was going to be a slam-dunk. Who knows? The stars are aligning—Senator McCain may actually stand a chance...

...And Here's How I Got There

Sat, 9 Feb 2008 04:47:06 -0800

One of my favorite comics (well, of the 80's anyway) was a fellow named Kelly Monteith. He was/is a funny guy, but one bit of his in particular has stuck with me. "Have you ever noticed that there are only two types of drivers on the road? Idiots and Assholes [1]. Assholes drive faster than you; Idiots drive slower." This is one of those great leaps of insight that astound me sometimes. There are two types of people in this world, and no, they're not Idiots and Assholes. One type identifies with the joke because they truly believe everyone else is an Idiot or an Asshole (which I'll refer to as Type A); the other recognizes that they've felt like that in the past, have on occasion been one or the other and finds the humor in the universality of the sentiment—Type B.

As with all truly great social commentary, Mr. Monteith's bit isn't directed at an individual or his race or her gender or at anyone in particular as a way of belittling them or elevating ourselves. It's a statement of fact. Correction—it's a factual statement. Fact is, after all, nothing but stated perception.

Ah, Nietzsche.

But I digress. We all have our thoughts on how things should work and it is our natural inclination to be defensive and assign ulterior motives to anyone that disagrees. We should fight these inclinations and try to be more accepting human beings. That said...

Glenn Beck is an Asshole. "And here's how I got there." I used to watch his CNN talk show religiously, mostly because I appreciated the persona he put forward: "I tell it like it is." Any more, no, not so much. I've finally realized that what he's really saying is "I tell it as I perceive it, I know better than you, and you are stupid if you disagree with me."

I tended to agree with him on issues. I don't think we spend enough time worrying about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Iran. I think that Congress, on both sides of the aisle, is so caught up in serving its own interests that you and I no longer matter. I agree we're too lenient on immigration. In thia regard I was not the Type B I thought I was, though, but actually a Type A Enabler. In Beck's mind, you're an Asshole if you are a liberal and disagree with him out of hand, and you're an Idiot if, like me, you're a conservative that's not a born-again self-righteous sycophant.

It's one thing to state what you believe. It's another to condemn someone else for disagreeing with you. That was, in my belief system, what had always separated the Left from the Right. The Right wants to believe things, rightly (sic) or wrongly; the Left thinks the Right are a bunch of Idiots and...well, you know.

I don't want to believe that many Blacks are voting for Senator Obama simply because he's Black. Forget that he spent his youth in Hawaii and Indonesia, and that he is in truth only half-Black.

I don't want to believe that many women are voting for Senator Clinton simply because she's a woman. I'm going to scream if I hear one more snide comment about it being "time for a woman to be in charge," as though men were simply too testosterone-poisoned, stupid and incapable of doing so.

I don't want to believe that Beck was supporting Governor Romney simply because he's a Mormon. (Beck is also a Mormon.) I don't care how good a CEO Romney was, I don't like his character, his politics or how he handles conflict. And let's not forget his uncanny ability to judge character, so aptly demonstrated when he enlisted Larry "Fancy Pants" Craig to help lead his campaign.

I don't want to believe that there are millions of illegal aliens that are demanding changes to our culture and using up tax dollars without contributing themselves. We spend billions of dollars every year birthing, educating, feeding, protecting and burying these aliens that are only interested in themselves and not the common good.

I don't want to believe, but I have to. That's Reality, and I believe that the Politically-Correct Thought Police (You Know Who You Are) are missing the point. Going back to immigration reform, the Right is up in arms about illegal immigration, taking an all-or-nothing stance: Gather them all up, ship them home and lock the door behind them, or else you can't call yourself a Conservative. Huh? Idealistically, I guess that I agree. Realistically, it can't happen and You know it. Big business can't be weaned from all of its cheap labor and its notion of disposable employees without major market repercussions. We can't/won't spend the money it would take to round everybody up and ship them home, and build a couple of walls that would never keep them out anyway.

Senator McCain understood, I believe, the Reality of it all and tried to foster legislation to make the best of an admittedly out-of-control situation. The Right holds this up as an example of why McCain is not a Conservative. As though somehow the Conservatives had all gotten together one night to vote for who would get to join the club. There isn't a textbook definition. There are varying shades of gray, boys and girls. I'm for lower taxes, smaller government and fewer entitlements. I'm also pro-Choice, support the idea of a path to citizenship, and embrace the War on Terror (and quite a bit of its execution). I support same-sex "unions" and the rights that they should enjoy, but not the notion of same-sex "marriage." And so on. If someone tries to call me a Liberal because of these beliefs—well, I'd laugh first, and then I'd be tempted to kick their ass.

The labels themselves are worthless, aside from providing a too-convenient polarization of people with differing philosophies. Fine. On this past Friday's episode (sic) Glenn Beck's "threat" not to vote for a Republican come November came across as somewhat amusing and incredibly childish, given his oft-stated stance on Senators Obama and Clinton. Romney was supposedly the Republican Party's last hope. Gawd. Beck's point was that sometimes "you have to fall down before you can pick yourself up" and that we'd been propping up the Republican Party for too long, praying for another Ronald Reagan to come along. Beck compared the situation to his descent into alcoholism and how he never would have been the person he was today if he hadn't been given the opportunity to fall down. Again, Huh? Yeah, he might not have been himself if he'd run his car into a wall, or worse, someone else's car. That would have made him an incarcerated felon without a cable-television soapbox to stand on. No, his tantrum was akin to that of an 8-year old not getting his chocolate milk.

So the end result is that Glenn Beck is no longer in my TiVo rotation, and I'll snicker at the mention of his name in the same manner as when I hear the words "Rush Limbaugh." It's a shame too. I had high hopes for Beck. Given that my only outlets for conservative fundamentalism nowadays are Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and various and sundry preachers, as of today I'm a sad, sad boy.

I believe what Mr. Monteith actually said was "Idiots and Jerks", but this is the new millennium...

What Matters

Thu, 6 Sep 2007 06:46:49 -0700

Kanye West and 50 Cent are having a chest-beating contest. 50 (pronounced "fit-ty") says he'll retire if Kanye's CD outsells his next week.

Who gives a rat's ass?

Ironically, country crooner Kenny Chesney's latest album will be released the same day. Chesney will outsell both of them, but I digress.

I wish they'd both retire. The last thing kids need today is yet another dumb kid that can rhyme being held up as a role model. 50 Cent was selling drugs by age 12. His mother was a coke dealer, murdered when she was 23. At age 19 he was arrested for drug possession, and in 2000 was shot 9 times at point blank range with a 9mm handgun.

Kanye West, on the other hand, grew up in a middle class family. His father, once a Black Panther, became a respected photographer and Christian counselor. His mother was the Chair of the English department at Chicago State University. Kanye attended art school in Chicago. He's an insightful kinda guy:

"I think in the daily life of a black male, we gay-bash way more than we
disrespect women. We would call a gay guy a fag to his face. But if we walked
up to a woman and said Aiight, bitch! we would know that was disrespectful."

Gee, ya think?

Each of these guys thinks that the world revolves around him. Each also thinks that after a couple of years in the "bidness" they're the biggest acts ever. Have I got news for them.

Luciano Pavarotti died today at age 71. He is one of the most celebrated singers, ever. His signature aria, Nessun Dorma from the Puccini opera Turandot, was one of those iconic performances that was celebrated in every country and every culture. Pavarotti performed Nessun Dorma at the last Winter Olympics in Turin and received the longest standing ovation ever at an Olympics performance.

Pavarotti was a star for over 30 years, appearing in venues as diverse as Saturday Night Live and La Scala. 500,000 people saw him in his Central Park performance, and millions more watched on television. His first Three Tenors album has the distinction of being the best selling classical album of all time. He holds the Guinness world record for curtain calls: 165.

Pavarotti was a diva in his own right with an ego to match. But he also had the goods. He was a humanitarian and a great teacher. Kanye West thinks he's important and famous enough to be in the Bible. Let's see if anyone remembers who he is in 3 years, let alone 30.

Turnabout

Tue, 4 Sep 2007 11:37:17 -0700

Lest anyone consider me a political bigot, let my state categorically that I am not. I have nearly as many complaints with Republican politicians as I do Democrat. I am pro- and anti-ideas, not people.

A perfect example of an irritation common to both parties is money: how it's raised and how it's spent. A lot of attention has been paid to the Democratic Presidential candidates and the war chests that they're building for the coming election. The political parties also need money to fund their on-going day-to-day activities. None are more offensive in raising it than the Republicans. Forget the $1,000 a plate dinners or $5,000 handshake opportunities. The average Joe supplies most of the money and the Republicans are shameless in the way they gather it.

I donated $250 to the Republican National Committee about 18 months ago. I responded to a relatively innocuous request for assistance and sent them a check. Ever since, I've been barraged by a steady stream of fund-raising letters. I've been made a "charter member" of the RNC Presidential Victory Team, whatever that means, as a reward for my "grassroots Republican leadership." Huh? I've received two "autographed" pictures of the President and the First Lady. His "autograph" also appears on several other documents, including a "Certificate of Appreciation" and a Christmas card, sent personally to me! Funny how consistent President Bush's signature is on all of these "autographed" documents.

I've also just been nominated for "lifetime membership" in the RNC. I quote:

"Mr. Wetmore, just over 28,000 people nationally hold Life Membership status in the RNC. In view of the highly selective character of Life Membership, I want you to have every possible opportunity to accept your nomination and join this elite group without delay."

This was part of a "personal" letter written to me by Robert M. "Mike" Duncan, Chairman of the RNC. Oh, and my lifetime membership status will only cost me $750. Normally, it's $1,000 but they're going to credit me for the $250 I've already donated. What a deal! No wonder there are so few members. There are only 28,000 idiots out there dumb enough to have fallen for these schemes.

I've received four cloisonne pins, two of them being "exclusive, limited-edition" lapel pins that "recognizes [my] dedication and commitment to President Bush and [the Republican] Party as a Sustaining Member of the Republican National Committee." They even sent me $5 once, suggesting that I include it as part of my next $250 donation. I kept the money.

Keep in mind that the only thing I did to earn all of these accolades and awards was to send a single $250 check in a postage-paid pre-addressed envelope. I vote in primaries and general elections. I wear the little stickers that they give you when you exit the polling place to show that I've voted. That's about as close as I've ever come to being part of a "grassroots leadership."

The RNC has spent more than the money I originally sent them trying to get me to donate again. When I mentioned to an annoying RNC phone solicitor that they should use the money they're given to actually do something worthwhile, I was informed frostily that fund-raising was something worthwhile. Oh yeah, I guess I impugned his manhood. It's probably the best job he's ever had.

Update, 13 Sep 2007:

Two more solicitations in two days! Yesterday I received yet another autographed picture of George and Laura Bush. Again, his signature is just so damned consistent. Today, I got an invitation to the 2007 Presidential Trust Dinner. Wowie. I would get to meet the 2008 Republican presidential candidates. Odd how it costs $750, though. I sense a trend...

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Sat, 1 Sep 2007 19:15:42 -0700

More hilarity from the Dems. Here we are, 14 months before the election and we're having to listen to a bunch of Democrats expounding on why they're better suited to being President than anyone else. Having debates this early in the process is self-defeating. By the time the election rolls around, it will feel like we've been listening to these bozos for 14 months and...Oh yeah, right. Anyway, it's like seeing Christmas goods appearing on store shelves earlier and earlier every year. Pretty soon we'll just buy Christmas stuff year-round.

I find it ironic, then, that the Dems take issue with states that want to hold their primaries earlier. These states want a little more say in determining who runs this country. Where is it written that New Hampshire has to be first? When I lived in California, it felt sometimes like we didn't matter at all. The worst year was 1992 when the elections were all but declared over by the networks before we even had a chance to vote. Kinda took the fun out of it.

The Democratic National Committee (must fight...urge...to make...DNC...joke...) wants to impose "punishment" on the rogue states by stripping them of their delegates to the Democratic National Convention. Um, aren't elections of delegates supposed to be determined by us, the voters? As usual, our democratically elected officials are telling us how to elect them. Why do they even bother? Just declare yourself King and go for it.

The best quote was from John Edwards, the rich hair-do guy.

"Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina need to be first because in these
states ideas count, not just money. This tried-and-true nominating system is the only
way for voters to judge the field based on the quality of the candidate, not the depth
of their war chest."

Oh My God. Nevada, not influenced by money? You want that quote translated into English? "We don't want to have to win based on the issues, we want to limit the number of states we have to blitzkrieg with advertising dollars to try and buy the vote." Who do these guys think they're fooling? John Edwards used to be a personal injury attorney. Go figure. The primaries, just like every other election in the last 15 years, will be decided by whoever can come up with the most persuasive negative advertising.

Sometimes, the candidates don't need any help in the negative advertising department. Remember Howard "Yeaaaaahhhhhhwwwww" Dean?

Seriously, if politicians just said it like it is this would all be so much simpler. We had it all figured out in 2nd grade: pass notes back and forth and find out where you stand. "I like you. Do you like me?" Instead, it's "You don't want to kiss Suzie. I hear her mother drinks and her father once paid off a city official." The next note would be some promise that she'd never expect to keep. After all, she's just trying to get elected, er, kissed.

The truth is that today's Democratic candidates aren't debating early because their message needs to be heard or because the American public is clamoring to hear their views on the issues. No, they're arguing amongst themselves because this is the first election in a long time where one party has such a clear lead in the polls. Every one of them wants to be the Alpha dog.

John Pretty-Boy Edwards can talk all he wants about the issues. The most substantive thing that you'll hear from his campaign this year is that his wife has cancer. Not that Pretty-Boy is advocating an all-out effort to cure cancer or health-care reforms to ensure those with cancer are detected early or even that he's sympathetic to the plight of cancer victims. I buried my kid brother on Friday. He died of cancer. Do I get to run for President too?

The Sins of Our Fathers

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 07:47:43 -0700

Another item buried in the New York Times Asia/Pacific World news section caught my eye today.

An Indian judge named Radhabinod Pal is being honored more and more by the Japanese government and the Japanese press. Judge Pal was one of 11 presiding judges in the Tokyo Trials after World War II. The International Military Tribunal for the Far East, its official title, prosecuted war crimes of the Japanese military and government.

The Tribunal classified crimes in three categories:
Class C: Crimes against humanity. Torture, slavery, murder.
Class B: Conventional war crimes. Violations of the Geneva Conventions, or the improper treatment of civilians and prisoners of war.
Class A: Crimes against peace. Basically waging a war of aggression, or in violation of laws and treaties.

Twenty-eight top Japanese officials were accused of Class A crimes, the most serious charge. Judge Pal was the sole dissenting judge with the rest voting to convict. In the intervening years, Judge Pal has been showered with memorials, tributes and lately, honored by the Japanese government.

This a perfect example of the types of differences that make it difficult for us to negotiate, empathize and deal with foreign cultures. The US is essentially an extension of Europe, so we better understand the cultural imperatives of Germany, Austria and Italy that shaped their decisions about war. The Germans have been contrite, teaching children about their build-ups to the wars. (At least, the second time around.) They are rooting out war criminals even to this day. A war fund of $6 billion was set up to compensate the 1.6 million people or their heirs that were presumed to have been forced laborers. They seem sorry.

The Japanese on the other hand didn't see what they were accused of as bad things. Necessarily. Invasions of Korea and China are seen as liberations of their existing empire. Although their government seems to understand the outrage the West would feel if they said this outright, they have absolutely no problem implying it. (Shades of Microsoft.)

Here is an actual statement from Mitsubishi, a company that is accused of having profited from forced labor during the war.

“Although countless wars have continued since the dawn of recorded history,
these have been judged by future generations that arrived at a common historical
understanding. Evaluation of the major war in question will also be left up to
future generations. The debate continues today,” Mitsubishi said. “This [courtroom]
is not the place to judge whether it was a war of invasion or not.”

The way I read this is: "We're not saying we did it; we're not saying we didn't. Someday someone might prove it and even then we still might not admit anything." Sort of a bass-ackwards nolo contendere plea, except without the implied admission of guilt. Evidently 60 years hasn't been enough time to decide for sure.

Judge Pal was a fellow Asian. He thought that the Japanese were being unfairly punished for what he referred to as wars of self-defense and liberation. While not denying the atrocities were committed, Pal thought they were crimes covered under Classes B and C. He even went so far as to say that US officials were the real war criminals for dropping the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

So the Japanese honor Pal for standing up against the tribunal. Are we to take this as a tacit Japanese denial of wrongdoing? I don't think so. The Japanese have always been more about honor and pride than guilt or confession. It's as if they were saying "Okay, we did it. We understand why it bothers you, but get over it. We have." No apologies, no compensation.

The lack of an apology may offend our sensibilities, but that in and of itself isn't the important thing. Why don't we feel worse about the 350,000 victims of our atom bombs? Because we feel justified in having done it? Were our motives more pure? What if bombs wiped out two of our cities? The Japanese feel the same way about their war-time actions.

We need to think differently if we are to effectively deal with countries like Iran. Clearly, whatever we've been doing isn't working. Those who do not learn from their mistakes...