More hilarity from the Dems. Here we are, 14 months before the election and we're having to listen to a bunch of Democrats expounding on why they're better suited to being President than anyone else. Having debates this early in the process is self-defeating. By the time the election rolls around, it will feel like we've been listening to these bozos for 14 months and...Oh yeah, right. Anyway, it's like seeing Christmas goods appearing on store shelves earlier and earlier every year. Pretty soon we'll just buy Christmas stuff year-round.

I find it ironic, then, that the Dems take issue with states that want to hold their primaries earlier. These states want a little more say in determining who runs this country. Where is it written that New Hampshire has to be first? When I lived in California, it felt sometimes like we didn't matter at all. The worst year was 1992 when the elections were all but declared over by the networks before we even had a chance to vote. Kinda took the fun out of it.

The Democratic National Committee (must fight...urge...to make...DNC...joke...) wants to impose "punishment" on the rogue states by stripping them of their delegates to the Democratic National Convention. Um, aren't elections of delegates supposed to be determined by us, the voters? As usual, our democratically elected officials are telling us how to elect them. Why do they even bother? Just declare yourself King and go for it.

The best quote was from John Edwards, the rich hair-do guy.

1. "Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina need to be first because in these
   

   states ideas count, not just money. This tried-and-true nominating system is the only
   

   way for voters to judge the field based on the quality of the candidate, not the depth
   

   of their war chest."

   
   

Oh My God. Nevada, not influenced by money? You want that quote translated into English? "We don't want to have to win based on the issues, we want to limit the number of states we have to blitzkrieg with advertising dollars to try and buy the vote." Who do these guys think they're fooling? John Edwards used to be a personal injury attorney. Go figure. The primaries, just like every other election in the last 15 years, will be decided by whoever can come up with the most persuasive negative advertising.

Sometimes, the candidates don't need any help in the negative advertising department. Remember Howard "Yeaaaaahhhhhhwwwww" Dean?

Seriously, if politicians just said it like it is this would all be so much simpler. We had it all figured out in 2nd grade: pass notes back and forth and find out where you stand. "I like you. Do you like me?" Instead, it's "You don't want to kiss Suzie. I hear her mother drinks and her father once paid off a city official." The next note would be some promise that she'd never expect to keep. After all, she's just trying to get elected, er, kissed.

The truth is that today's Democratic candidates aren't debating early because their message needs to be heard or because the American public is clamoring to hear their views on the issues. No, they're arguing amongst themselves because this is the first election in a long time where one party has such a clear lead in the polls. Every one of them wants to be the Alpha dog.

John Pretty-Boy Edwards can talk all he wants about the issues. The most substantive thing that you'll hear from his campaign this year is that his wife has cancer. Not that Pretty-Boy is advocating an all-out effort to cure cancer or health-care reforms to ensure those with cancer are detected early or even that he's sympathetic to the plight of cancer victims. I buried my kid brother on Friday. He died of cancer. Do I get to run for President too?